Thursday, October 16

Playoff Heaven

Who doesn't love a hotly contested pennant race?

As I write this, the four teams still standing – Boston, Chicago, Florida and New York – are all still going at it, and doing so with a considerable measure of flash and fire. Some (like Don Zimmer, or my dad) might say that there is too much flash and fire, but I don't buy into that.

Right now, with the Red Sox and the Cubs desperately trying to make it into the World Series just to shut everyone up about the curse of the Bambino and Wrigley's lovable losers, tempers are flaring and TV ratings are up. We all know what happened in Game Three of the ALCS: everyone on the planet saw Don Zimmer trot around the knot of brawling Yanks and Sox on a clear mission to give the old Brooklyn one-two to Pedro Martinez, and the ugliness that followed.

What to do, though, if one's team is in a rather sorry state due to an evil owner and was removed from contention prior to the All-Star break? What if, as a staunch American League fan, one is left with either the Yankees (for whom one is constitutionally unable to cheer) or the Red Sox (Bill Buckner, anyone?) as League representatives in the world championship?

Answer one: abandon the American League and root for the Cubbies. After all, it's been a long time.

Answer two: go with the Sox. It's been a long time for them, too. So what if Pedro Martinez likes to beat up on guys more than twice his age? And if Grady Little likes to indulge in pointless pitcher harassment?

Answer three: decide who should be in the Series based upon what kind of theme food you could have at your World Series party!

If you go with the third option, you're a lot better off than you would have been last year. I think Anaheim's trademarked food all comes printed with Mickey ears, and San Francisco's haute cuisine does not lend itself well to Joe Buck and Fox.

This year, each potential World Series contender comes from a pretty serious food town. New York's endless deliciousness has been well documented in previous columns, and I don't want to give the Yankees ANY edge, but a nice corned beef on rye or a Shofar kosher hot dog does make for good baseball food. Boston offers a long history of "chowdah" and baked beans, with either Boston cream pie or Toll House cookies (hey! They're from Massachusetts!) to finish. The Marlins' home base in sunny Miami makes for good Cuban sandwiches, black beans and rice, and Key lime pie. And Chicago? Deep-dish pizza, Italian beef sandwiches, pierogi, Dutch baby pancakes and Wrigley's spearmint.

Hmm. Based on the above analysis, I still can't decide. All of those towns are good from a food perspective. I guess I'll have to use even more subjective criteria: I can't stand that Red Sox "Cowboy Up!" thing – what, they think they're from Texas? – and the Marlins are just an insult to older, higher-payrolled, less-talented teams with terrible owners. And the Yankees? The DAMN Yankees? I think not.

That's it. Let's go Cubs! (Pass me that Italian beef sandwich, please. I need to buy an ivy-covered tee shirt straightaway.)

Clearly this was written prior to Game Seven of the NLCS. The best I can hope for now is the Marlins and the Sox. Do you think that if the Yankees lose, Joe Torre might come to Baltimore?