Wednesday, January 22

Foodball

So it's the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Oakland Raiders in the Super Bowl this year. It was not ten minutes after the Raiders won their divisional championship that the dreaded "analysis" began. This time around, national attention should be focused entirely on the fact that Jon Gruden was the coach of the Oakland Raiders last year and will be facing his rather recent ex-team in the big game this year.

(At least, that's what the talking heads believe national attention should focus upon.)

Here at littleplate.com, we have a different idea about the Super Bowl. Here are the pertinent facts as we see them:

1. The Super Bowl demands that you have friends over to watch TV.

2. You are supposed to watch the commercials.

3. You must eat the junkiest food imaginable.

With those three rules in mind, here are some do's and don'ts for whatever Super Bowl party you might be throwing or attending this year.

DO dig up that old cheese ball recipe, or make a spinach dip in a bread bowl, or have one of those layered dips that involve either chili or sausage. The Super Bowl is not a time to be shy about those guilty pleasures.

DO NOT make any of Emeril Lagasse's tailgate recipes. While I enjoy Emeril's TV show and many of his recipes, the ones created specifically for tailgating or the Super Bowl are terrible. I tried three of them before I gave up. I don't understand how such a football-y kind of guy could have so little understanding of how people eat during football parties and tailgates.

ESPECIALLY DO NOT make Emeril's "garlic meatball po' boys," which involve making innocent meatballs and then wedging an entire clove of garlic into each one before simmering them to death in a pot of garlicky sauce. Trust me. Bad idea.

DO make or buy some cookies – chocolate-chip, oatmeal raisin, peanut butter. If you're going to eat all this junk, you might as well finish off with a cookie or two. They're good.

DO set out your very best paper and plastic. I do not want to eat Velveeta-chili dip from anyone's any kind of china. Not even Corelle.

DO NOT serve a six-foot hoagie that you bought at the grocery store. If you feel compelled to serve a gigantic sandwich, by all means make one, but a soggy sub full of twenty pounds of mediocre cold cuts made at the Giant the Friday before the Super Bowl is not optimal. A platter of deli meats is far preferable, in my opinion.

DO serve Buffalo wings, or brats, or burgers (or of course the veggie versions of these old standbys) – people will be at your house for a loooooong time and they will get hungry for something besides dip and chips. Again, this is not the time to trot out your most subtle hors d'oeuvres.

Most of all, DO make sure to have more chips, beer, sandwiches, and soda than you thought it possible for your group to consume. I would say, double the usual reasonable amount. People go all out on Super Bowl Sunday.

If you are bored with the usual snacks, try making homemade party mix – what in the South is gleefully called "trash." This version is spicy and salty and delightfully crunchy. Your guests will eat the entire recipe before you know it and probably beg for more. In addition, it will ensure that you will have far fewer leftover beers and sodas than you expected.